A misandrist walks into a bar…what, you ask is a misandrist? The Oxford Dictionary online offers this: A misogynist is a person who hates women. A person who hates men can be described as a misandrist, and the corresponding noun is misandry.
A lively coffee break discussion at The Manor had us wondering why the use of misogyny was so prevalent where misandrist was not. Oxorddictionary.com continued with this: “But however prevalent the attitudes described by these words may be, the words themselves aren't common. There are currently only 29 examples of misandrist in the Oxford English Corpus, while misogynist appears more than 1,500 times; 68 uses of misandry are overshadowed by over 2,000 examples of misogyny.”
And why is that? It may be the very definition of the words explain it. Our society has come a long way, yet there are still many outdated notions of the roles between men and women. And is hate really the word to use to describe the myriad of emotions involved in men’s anger to woman or vice versa?
I recently began re-watching Ally Mc Beal. So far, after 20 years, it seems to hold up. In the pilot episode a man is accused of very obvious sexual harassment at Ally’s law firm. She sues, but he manages to get away with it. Frustrated she turns to her boss for help, who ends up hiring the guy because of his skill in getting the case dismissed. In the end it was just a trick to get him to confess, but in the moment, I couldn’t help but think that the ‘good old boys club’ had won another one.
I grew up during a time when sexual harassment in the office was almost de riquer, although frustrating and sometimes frightening, it was the way it was, and you had to stand up to it in fear of ridicule or just allow it and move on. The #metoo movement has certainly made inroads toward not solving this problem, but at least bringing out of some ugly truths that had been simply ignored as the norm.
Is there then a valid reason for straight misandry? Do we hate all men for the few—or many- that have been horrible? Many who claim to be misandrist are simply women who have been deceived, abused, and developed a mistrust of men period.
We use this rally cry of I HATE MEN! for many purposes, but often the truth is just the opposite. We love men, but only the good ones. Or do we? Don’t get me started on the whole “I like bad boys’ thing!
I KNOW, Jezebel stop talking about all this nonsense and let me know how it connects to sex.
Well, I will tell you, Sex is almost certainly at the very hear of the matter. It is why we exist. It is used as currency, as power, and as punishment. It is also, one of the reasons we find that hating men is not the answer. We may choose to ignore certain traits. We cannot change the fact that men and women were created for much different purposes. Therefore, trying to turn a man into a woman, does not at all work. We must find the one(s) that work for us.
So, yes, it is fun to sit with the girls and scream, ‘I hate men.’ It is fulfilling in strange ways to discuss what pigs’ men are. It is even likely we will bring up only the worst of your habits, but in the end, it is only because we want or wanted you to be the one. We wanted life to be like what we were told it would be in the fairy tales. In some scenarios we may even be trying to ‘one up” each other for the biggest relationship nightmares. It is no wonder that men and women have so many relationship issues!
This whole crazy discussion began when one of the interns shared an article that Anna Goldfarb contributed to Vice asking women to sum up their worst sexual experiences in 6 words , these are just a few of the selections:
"Farted in my face during 69." - Kylie, 31
"Baby carrot dick kept slipping out." - Louisa, 31
"Cat maintained eye contact entire time." - Carrie, 35
"Broke up with me while climaxing." - Lexie, 29
"Skinny penis looked like gnarled parsnip." - Erica, 39
"Kept thanking me while penetrating pussy." - Nora, 23
"Talked in British accent. Not British." - Lynne, 28
There are many choices that caused us to roar with laughter, but some were just downright mean. Again, we sometimes think we have valid reasons, but being the stronger sex, can we try to just move on? Given the division that currently rules so much of the World, maybe a little less hate would be good.
Of course, I’m one of the lucky ones. I get to take out my frustrations in many of the Fem Dom audios I record. You may even find a theme amongst them. Oh, don’t worry, you know I would never harm you- after all it is only your pleasure that propels me onward…
Happy Valentine's Day!