I write this within days of my fiftieth birthday. I am actually looking forward to this milestone. So many things I had hoped to accomplish, I have indeed managed. I feel blessed and fortunate I have had the opportunity to even make it this far.
Setting goals, you must have a plan and a timeline to move forward. Cutting it into small pieces more easily digestible seems to help. I know that looking at the big picture is often too much for me, but taking a positive step forward will lead to the next and so on.
Writing erotica can be a lonely profession. Friends & family don’t always understand. Often you cannot even share it with your co-workers. It is a sad comment on society in general to think that what we do is somehow wrong. That sex, in of itself, is somehow wrong. Sex may have been "created" for the purpose, of procreation, but I believe it was made pleasurable to ensure the existence of mankind in more ways than just by childbirth, It gives us an intimate connection to another. It allows us the freedom to let go. It shapes our lives and loves in many positive ways. It is a good thing. Erotica writers do is a good thing.
Committing to my new career path was an easy decision to make. I have never been one to let others opinions of me alter my course. I love writing erotica and although I may not be the best writer, do not tell me it doesn’t count because I write about sex. I write about people and emotions and intimacy. I write about fear, and doubt and joy. I write about life.
I look forward to the next half of my life, as I never had the first. Yes, my enthusiasm can often have me acting like an adolescent, but I am wiser, stronger, better than I ever have been. I am comfortable in my own skin and I am no longer watching from a distance. I am all in. It takes choices, sometimes good, sometimes, not so good. It takes effort and desire. It is hard. I know I have a long way to go. I know that I will not wake up tomorrow and have my perfect life, but I also know that each step I take, whether I succeed or not will bring me closer to myself and my dreams. This time, I choose to experience the steps as I go. Ultimately, our lives are made up of what happens along the way because there will always be another goal.
Fifty already has enough cliches attached to it, but for me, it is merely a symbol of rebirth and commitment. And it is fabulous.